Monthly Archives: December 2023

Keep your cool this holiday season and all year long

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The holiday season is stressful for everyone, but especially for caregivers. Here’s a list of my favorite ways to destress any time of the year.

  1. Breathe! When we are stressed, we tend to hold our breath. Take a 5-minute break and sit down in a comfortable chair. Close your eyes and take a deep breath, in and out. Then focus on your breath and watch how your mind quiets down and your muscles relax. Then remember to breathe throughout the day. Whenever you feel yourself getting anxious or tight, take a deep breath and let it go.
  2. Drink water. We’ve heard it a million times but it’s always good to be reminded. Forget about sodas and limit the wine and alcohol. Staying hydrated, especially at this time of year, is vital to supporting the immune system and reducing inflammation. It’s also important to support healthy cognitive function and memory.
  3. Eat walnuts. A daily dose of about 9 whole walnuts or 1 Tbs. walnut oil helps your blood pressure from spiking during stress. Walnuts contain L-arginine, an amino acid that helps relax blood vessels, which in turn helps reduce hypertension.
  4. Drink green tea. L-Theanine is the main chemical constituent in green tea. It is an ideal nutritional aid for stress because it produces alpha-wave activity that leads to deep relaxation and mental alertness. This is especially important because to mitigate stressful situations, it’s important to remain calm and alert. Theanine also stimulates the release of the neurotransmitters GABA, serotonin, and dopamine, which help us feel happy, motivated, and calm. Green tea extract is available as a nutritional supplement, which might be easier and quicker to take, and it’ll save you a lot of trips to the bathroom.
  5. While we’re on the topic of “green,” be sure to eat green leafy vegetables for vitamin B and magnesium, both of which help your body cope with stress.
  6. Two handfuls of cashews (make that a small handful, please; one ounce of cashews contains 157 calories.) provide the equivalent mood-boosting effect as a therapeutic dose of Prozac because they are one of the highest natural sources of tryptophan, the precursor for serotonin, the feel-good neurotransmitter.
  7. Did someone mention dark chocolate? It reduces cortisol, the stress hormone that causes anxiety symptoms. Just a couple of pieces should do the trick.
  8. Walk around the block. Just getting out into fresh air will instantly relieve stress, and moving your body gets your blood pumping and will clear your mind.
  9. Light candles and play relaxing music while you eat. It will change the mood instantly.
  10. Aromatherapy is a miracle cure for stress and anxiety. Use a wall plug-in to diffuse the aroma of lavender oil to uplift mood, or place a few drops on a handkerchief and tuck it into a shirt pocket or on a pillow. Other oils to try: vetiver, frankincense, myrrh, orange, lemon, bergamot, and grapefruit.
  11. Music is the universal language, and it is also the universal stress reliever. Whether it’s jazz, classical, or hard rock that makes you feel better, by all means, play it loud, play it soft, dance to it, drive to it, go to sleep to it. It will definitely help.
  12. Getting the proper rest is vital to staying healthy and reducing stress. Prepare yourself for a deep night’s sleep by unplugging from electronics at least an hour before bed, taking an Epsom salt bath (put several drops of lavender oil in the water for added relaxation), and making sure the room temperature isn’t too warm.  Good night, sleep tight!

If you, or someone you care about, tend to suffer from stress, anxiety, or depression, these recommendations might just “take the edge off” and improve your quality of life … without the risk of side effects. May the holiday season begin!

Have a safe, healthy, and fun holiday season, and many blessings for a year filled with ease and peace.

For dozens more tools and techniques for reducing stress, uplifting mood, supporting your immune system and finding ways to connect on a spiritual and emotional level with the person you care for, read Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s and Dementia.

The 10 things you must do after getting a dementia diagnosis.

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A walk through the park

It’s a shock to receive a dire prognosis. The day I listened to the doctor tell my husband that he had Alzheimer’s remains as one of those pivotal, earth-shaking moments that changed the course of my family’s life.

I’ve been hearing about more and more people, young and old, who are getting an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. It’s okay to cry, to throw a tantrum, and to feel numb. I remember calling my parents in disbelief and saying that my life wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. I was only 48 years old. I lost my spouse at 58. Now at 71, I look back and see how far I’ve come. Ten years of navigating the Alzheimer’s world, taking care of my husband, having him live in a memory care home, and seeing it through until the end, definitely took a toll on me — physically and emotionally. I still tear up when I think about it.

Whether you are the caregiver or the person who has dementia, the important thing to tell yourself is that you will get through this. But there are things you must do — starting today — to help yourself and your loved one(s).

  • Get in touch with your local Alzheimer’s Association. https://www.alz.org/ They are a godsend and do amazing work helping caregivers and people with dementia, and funding research. Check out their education programs such as “Managing Money: A Caregiver’s Guide to Finances” https://training.alz.org/products/4355/managing-money-a-caregivers-guide-to-finances?_gl=1*ec354i*_ga*MTkxNzM3NzMxOS4xNzAzMDk3NDQ5*_ga_9JTEWVX24V*MTcwMzA5NzQ0OC4xLjEuMTcwMzA5NzU4MS4xOC4wLjA. Or, “Living with Alzheimer’s: For People with Alzheimer’s Disease.”
  • Make an appointment with an elder attorney to figure out how to best plan for the future. (http://National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys). As soon as possible, designate who will be your powers of attorney, including durable general power of attorney and medical power of attorney. Put a lot of thought into it. You want to make sure the people you put your trust in are people you know will have your best interests and wishes in mind.
  • Consult with a professional about long-term care Medicaid to see if you qualify and what you might do to qualify if you currently don’t. Making these plans while you or your loved one are still able to is a great gift.
  • Enlist family members and neighbors who you can count on to be helpful. Designate someone as an emergency contact. Share your contact information with them and let them know you might need their help at some point.
  • Share your feelings with your closest friends and family. Don’t do what I did and try to keep the diagnosis a secret. That became a huge stressor for me.
  • Consider adult daycare programs that provide care, companionship, and supervision during the day. To find out more about centers where you live, contact your local aging information and assistance provider or Area Agency on Aging (AAA). For help connecting to these agencies, contact the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or https://eldercare.acl.gov.
    The National Adult Day Services Association is a good source for general information about adult daycare centers, programs, and associations. Call 1-877-745-1440 or visit http://www.nadsa.org.
  • Schedule a weekly walk with a friend or neighbor. The exercise and socialization will do you good.
  • Remove area rugs from the house and other items that may pose a fall risk. And make sure there is sufficient lighting in the house.
  • Do everything you can to reduce stress. Have a family meeting in which everyone can participate in the sharing of care. It’s important to divvy up tasks because there will be plenty of them in the long, fraught Alzheimer’s journey. Even if someone lives across the country, that person can share the responsibility of calling in prescription drugs, ordering food to be delivered, setting up appointments, etc.
  • Stay engaged in activities that you’ve always enjoyed. Dance, sing in a choir, play an instrument, garden, play a sport or cards. Alzheimer’s and other dementias are not contagious. Enjoy your life the best way you can by staying engaged in your favorite activities for as long as possible.

Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Boulder Book Store, Tattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.