The truth about eating chocolate

Dark chocolate stack, chips and powder

Americans eat more than 11 pounds of chocolate each year, which is far less than most Europeans, especially the Swiss, who eat 19 pounds a year.

There’s a big difference between eating dark chocolate and milk chocolate. Dark chocolate has the highest percentage of cocoa solids and cocoa butter, as well as sugar and cocoa bean powder. It also contains flavonoids, plant-based compounds that have anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties the support immunity. Additionally, it contains magnesium, sulfur, calcium, iron, zinc, copper, potassium and manganese, which are essential minerals. Dark chocolate also contains epicatechin and Gallic acids which support the heart, act as an anticarcinogens (anti-cancer), and support brain health and mental clarity.

Milk chocolate contains milk powder, sugar, and a small percentage of cocoa solids and cocoa butter. It has a creamier and sweeter taste. It contains less than 10 percent of cocoa versus the minimum of 35 percent cocoa that dark chocolate contains, which means it doesn’t offer nearly the number of health benefits as dark chocolate.

Nutritionists recommend consuming chocolate products that contain 70% to 80% cocoa. If you just want the pure and simple health benefits, forego the chocolate and take raw cacao capsules. Although I definitely wouldn’t recommend giving your sweetheart a bottle of cacao capsules on Valentine’s Day. Indulge in the good-tasting stuff!

Interesting health facts about chocolate

  1. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac. Legend has it that the Aztec emperor Montezuma was said to consume large amounts of the cocoa bean to fuel his libido. Today, scientists attribute the aphrodisiac qualities of chocolate to two chemicals: 1) tryptophan, which is a building block of serotonin, a brain chemical involved in sexual arousal. And, 2) phenylethylamine, a stimulant related to amphetamine, that is released in the brain when people fall in love. What about you? Do you experience a heightened sense of arousal after eating dark chocolate?
  2. Chocolate contains good-for-you antioxidants Chocolate comes from the cacao bean, which thrives in hot, rainy climates in South America, Africa and Indonesia. Similar to grapes, the local soil and climate affects the taste of the harvested beans. When you buy a chocolate bar that has the percentage number on the bar wrapper, that represents the weight that comes from the cacao bean content, according to Robert L. Wolke, author of What Einstein Told His Cook: Kitchen Science Explained. The higher the number, the lower the percentage of sugar and the more bitter and complex the flavor, he says. And the higher the number the more antioxidants.
  3. Cacao is rich in magnesium, sulfur, calcium, iron, zinc, copper, potassium and manganese, all essential minerals . . . and antioxidants that support immune health.
  4. Chocolate reduces your risk of Type 2 Diabetes Researchers discovered that the flavanols in chocolate have beneficial effects on insulin resistance, a risk factor for Type 2 diabetes. In a 30-year-long study of 953 men and women from the Maine-Syracuse Longitudinal Study (MSLS), researchers found that the individuals who never or rarely ate chocolate had a significantly higher chance of developing Type 2 diabetes after five years when compared to individuals who ate chocolate more than once a week. Habitual chocolate intake and type 2 diabetes mellitus in the Maine-Syracuse Longitudinal Study: (1975-2010): Prospective observations.
  5. Protects you from heart disease A 2012 report published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that dark chocolate has a beneficial effect on blood pressure, vascular dilation and cholesterol levels, and can play a role in reducing metabolic precursors that lead to diabetes and eventually to heart disease. However, a study published in October 2016 (John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.) found that out of 32 cocoa product samples analyzed, the cocoa flavanol dose must be about 900 mg or above to decrease blood pressure, and contain 100 mg of epicatechin. So if you want to eat chocolate for health benefits, be sure to check the ingredient label. The aim of the study was to review the effect of cocoa flavanols on cardiovascular health, with emphasis on the doses ingested, and to analyze a range of cocoa products for content of these compounds. PubMed was searched from 2010 to locate systematic reviews (SR) on clinical effects of chocolate consumption.
  6. Supports mental function. A recent analysis of several studies on the effects of cocoa polyphenols on cognition in healthy adults found that they enhanced memory and executive function. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31933112/ In an earlier study carried out by the University of L’Aquila in Italy, 90 elderly participants with mild cognitive impairment (MCI) drank cocoa containing high, medium or low levels of flavonoids. At the end of the eight-week study researchers found improvements in the motor response, working memory, task switching, and verbal memory in the participants who drank cocoa with a higher flavanol content. (Hypertension, Aug. 14, 2012) Alzheimer’s and dementia patients are especially fond of sweets because the taste of sweetness is the last taste to disappear. Another study which evaluated the effect of cocoa flavonoids on cognitive function, blood pressure control and metabolic function in the elderly also found positive results. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25733639/ So if your loved one has Alzheimer’s or dementia, indulge him/her in chocolate. Just remember not to overdo it and make sure to include good dental hygiene in your loved one’s daily regimen.
  7. Helps you think better after a sleepless night. The next time you have a bad night’s sleep, instead of indulging in a cup of Joe drink hot chocolate. Sleep deprivation is a risk factor for cardiovascular disease, and scientists have found that flavanol-rich chocolate counteracted vascular impairment after sleep deprivation and restored working memory performance. Their theory is that the study’s participants had improved cognitive performance because of the effects of cocoa flavonoids on blood pressure and blood flow.Flavanol-rich chocolate acutely improves arterial function and working memory performance counteracting the effects of sleep deprivation in healthy individuals.
  8. Makes you feel gooood Scientists have discovered why chocolate uplifts your mood. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter responsible for keeping us happy, and cacao stops the amino acid tryptophan from breaking down. Since tryptophan is one of the amino acids that make serotonin this, in turn, limits the breakdown of serotonin. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25733639/

On Valentine’s Day celebrate with your loved one by enjoy a steaming cup of delicious hot chocolate made with whole milk or rice or flax milk. Or indulge in a dark chocolate truffle, candy bar or chocolate ice cream. It’ll boost your spirit and your immunity. Just be careful not to overdo it because the calories can add up quickly.

This is what I’m making on Valentine’s Day. Substitute coconut sugar or raw sugar, if you like.  This recipe is easier than you’d think, so don’t let the word souffle scare you off. It’s well worth the time and little effort it takes.

Chocolate Souffle

Ingredients

  • 1⁄3 cup sugar, plus additional for sprinkling
  • 5 ounces bittersweet chocolate chips
  • 3 large egg yolks, at room temperature
  • 6 large egg whites
  • 1⁄8 tablespoon butter

Directions

  • Preheat oven to 375°F.
  • Measure out sugar, chocolate and separate eggs.
  • Butter soufflé dish entirely and then add sugar (additional) coating the entire dish.
  • Melt chocolate in a double boiler, or directly on the stove.
  • Add yolks to chocolate (this will harden the chocolate so don’t be alarmed).
  • Beat egg whites with a pinch of salt. Slowly add sugar, a little at a time. Beat until egg whites hold stiff peaks.
  • Fold white mixture into chocolate slowly and stir until smooth.
  • Pour into large soufflé dish or 4 ramekins and run the end of your thumb around inside to remove any extra batter.
  • Bake until puffed and crusted on top but still jiggly in center, 20 to 25 minutes.
  • Serve immediately with whipped cream or ice cream.

This recipe has become one of my new favorites.

Chocolate zucchini bread

Ingredients

  • 2 cups grated zucchini
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
  • 1/2 cup maple syrup (add 3/4 cup if you like it sweet, I don’t)
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa or cacao powder
  • 2 cups flour of your choice. I use 1 cup almond meal and 1 cup whole wheat
  • 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray loaf pan with oil or rub with butter.
  • In a large bowl mix egg, applesauce, maple syrup, baking soda and baking powder and salt.
  • Add cocoa powder and whisk until well combined.
  • Add flour and mix until combined. Add 1/4 cup of chocolate chips.
  • Pour batter into pan and sprinkle remaining chips on top.
  • Bake 40-50 minutes or until inserted toothpick comes out clean. Be careful not to hit a melted chocolate chip.
  • Let cool before slicing.

Yay chocolate! Have a very happy Valentine’s Day!

Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

Is there a link between radon exposure and Alzheimer’s disease?

January is National Radon Action Month and if you haven’t tested for radon in your home in the past year, this is a good reminder to put it on your to-do list. Radon is a naturally occurring, invisible, odorless gas that decays into radioactive particles. Radon exposure is the second leading cause of lung cancer after smoking. It’s estimated that about 20,000 lung cancer deaths each year are caused by radon exposure. I’m just learning that It is also linked to neurodegenerative diseases.

My husband spent many hours each day in his basement office. When we put our house up for sale, we had to do a radon mitigation after discovering that we had high radon levels. Now I’m wondering if his Alzheimer’s disease was caused by the radon. In a systematic review of the topic, ten studies have been related to multiple sclerosis (MS), two related to motor neuron disease, in particular ALS, and three were related to both Alzheimer’s disease and Parkinson’s disease. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33066046/

I’ve also just learned that the average radon level in a home in Colorado, where I live, is equivalent to every person in the home having 200 chest X-rays a year. That’s scary!

The Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease published an article concluding that ionizing radiation is a risk factor for Alzheimer’s. Inhaling radon gas, can damage tissue in the nasal cavity and hippocampus that, overtime, results in Alzheimer’s.

The researchers did an extensive study of ionizing radiation exposure of the population in the U.S. and compared that with 2013 death rates by states provided by the Alzheimer’s Association. They found that radon background ionizing radiation was significantly correlated with AD death rate in 50 states and the District of Columbia.

Signs and symptoms of radon exposure and possible lung cancer from radon

  • Persistent cough
  • Hoarseness
  • Wheezing
  • Shortness of breath
  • Coughing up blood
  • Chest pain
  • Frequent infections like bronchitis and pneumonia
  • Loss of appetite
  • Weight loss
  • Fatigue

What can you do?

Testing for radon is easy and inexpensive. Kansas State University National Radon Program Services offers low-cost test kits online. To order a test kit from KSU, go to sosradon.org. Kits can also be found at local hardware and home improvement stores.

If you find radon in your home, A properly installed radon mitigation system will harmlessly disperse the radon gas, making your home dramatically safer. The best part is that these mitigation systems are affordable to install and require minimal maintenance over their lifespan.

I’m ordering a radon testing kit ASAP. This is something that’s easy to do and can help prevent serious diseases. Please get one for your home, too.

Take care and stay safe.

Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

The best gifts for your Alzheimer’s loved one

Instead of worrying about what to give a friend or loved one who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease or dementia consider this. What that person really wants more than anything is to just be with you.

But this holiday season is going to be very different. If your loved one is in a memory care home, you probably won’t be able to visit them. If you can stand outside their window you could play their favorite music on your phone, or if you’re a musician you could sing or play an instrument. Or, eat a favorite dessert together, even if it’s through glass, and it’s not freezing cold.

Here’s a general list of gifts for dementia and Alzheimer’s patients, no matter where they live. Of course, the stage of the disease will determine the gift that is most appropriate.

  • A soft bathrobe or blanket in a color they love
  • A CD with their favorite music
  • A digital photo frame.
  • Non-skid slipper socks.
  • Books in large print or audio books if the person is still able to follow and/or read.
  • Poker chips that can be sorted and counted.
  • Non-toxic modeling clay or PlayDoh
  • Water-based paints, brushes and paper
  • An aquarium, if someone else can take the responsibility to feed the fish
  • A terrarium or beautiful plant
  • Easy puzzles, word search books, etc.
  • Plastic nuts and bolts sets
  • Weighted blanket
  • Doll or stuffed animal

If your loved one lives with you and you are the primary caregiver, here are activities to do together.

  1. People with dementia love ice cream. Share a pint of his or her favorite. Bring the toppings and arrange them on a table in little bowls—sprinkles, chocolate chips, chopped fruit, whipped cream, butterscotch or chocolate sauce, etc.
  2. Watch a comedy together. It doesn’t matter if your loved one can follow the plot or not. If you laugh, he or she will probably join in the merriment. Laughter triggers the production of endorphins; the brain chemicals that reduce the sensation of pain and make you feel good.
  3. Listen to music together. Put on a CD and sing together. Big Band Music is usually a hit with most 70, 80 and 90 year olds. If your loved one is younger, you can try classic rock.
  4. Get out the paint brush, paper and water colors. You don’t have to be an artist or art teacher to have fun with your loved one. Painting and drawing is a great way to share time together, and to even express feelings of frustration, irritation and fear—on paper.
  5. Dance to the music. If your loved one is still mobile help him or her get up and move. The exercise will enhance memories, even if temporarily. A short surge of condensed exercise boosts the compression of memories in both elders in good mental shape as well as those with slight cognitive impairment, according to new research by a team of scientists from UC Irvine’s Center for the Neurobiology of Learning & Memory.http://www.cnlm.uci.edu/ If the person is in a wheel chair, move his or her arms to the rhythm.
  6. Go for a drive and get some fresh air. Just getting out of the house does a body good and uplifts the spirit.
  7. Hold hands, give a foot massage. Use aromatherapy oils (see chapter 18 “Aromatherapy” in The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s and Dementia
  8. Create a book of photos that depict your loved one’s life and share memories without saying “remember when. . .”
  9. Share a special meal together and set the mood with candles and music.
  10. Just breathe together and be still in the silence. It’s the greatest gift of all.

Whatever you do, I wish you and your loved ones a peaceful holiday season. Be safe, wear a mask whenever you leave the house, and please be careful.

Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”–winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in self-help– in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.


15 Ways to Instantly Diffuse Anger

Young woman doing upward dog stretch, yoga.

Whether you’ve been caring for a loved one with dementia for a month or more than a decade, you’ve probably felt anger. Anger about having to listen to your care partner ask you for the hundredth time what’s for dinner, even though they have already eaten. Anger about having to downsize your world because you don’t have time to enjoy your previous social life. Anger about having to leave your career because you need to care for someone at home. The list goes on and on.Caregiving for someone with dementia is so hard. Some doctors think of caregivers as hidden patients because they are more likely to suffer from health problems stemming for stress, anxiety, anger, depression, and the inability to take good care of themselves.

It might be helpful to understand why you are feeling angry. You may not be aware of lingering feelings that fuel the fire. But there are ways to diffuse anger, which is one of the culprits that contribute to caregiver stress, depression, and poor health.

Are you resentful?

This is a common feeling that many caregivers share, especially if you are the eldest daughter and are caring for a parent. And it’s no wonder. Do your siblings step in to help with an ailing parent? Has your career advancement been put on hold? Is caring for a spouse destroying your dreams of travel or retirement.

I was only 48 when my husband was diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease. And damn right I was resentful. Our youngest was just starting college and we were empty nesters. It was the time in our life that we were supposed to have more freedom. My parents were getting older and had numerous health issues. I was part of a caregiver sandwich. Not the one where you care for a spouse and children at home simultaneously, I had to fly back and forth to tend to my parents’ while caring for my husband. It was hard and exhausting, and I was resentful. I complained to my best friend that my life wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Are you frustrated?

Have you tried various modalities to help your loved one “get better” and not seen any improvement?

Are you exhausted?

It’s no wonder. You need to take care of yourself. Exhaustion and burnout can bring feelings of anger to the surface. Please read: Preventing Caregiver Burnout with Good Nutrition and Foods that Support Neurotransmitters. https://wordpress.com/post/barbracohn.com/5204

Do you feel guilty?

It’s been years since my husband passed away. But I still feel guilty about the times I got angry or the times I went out to enjoy myself. My therapist used to say to me: “If someone told you the story you’re telling me now, what would you say to them?” I’d say, “You’re doing the best that you can.” That’s the right answer. You are doing the best that you can, and I have to remind myself, even now, that I did the best that I could. (Maybe I need more therapy to totally release those feelings of guilt.)

If you fly off the handle when your loved one annoys you or when you haven’t gotten enough sleep, try some of these anger diffusers for immediate relief.

  • Take a deep breath. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, and release for 4 counts. Repeat twice more.
  • Make sure your loved one is safe and take a brief walk outside. If the weather is bad, walk up and down the stairs. If you can go outside, engage your loved one in an activity or have them watch television. Or just walk away from the situation and go into another room.
  • Put on some uplifting music. “Happy” by Pharrell Williams will definitely make you happy, I guarantee!
  • Call your best friend to vent.
  • Keep a book of inspirational quotes on your night table. Grab it and read a page. Sit there a moment and breathe.
  • Do jumping jacks or a few yoga postures. Corpse pose, legs up the wall, down dog. It doesn’t matter. Choose a few and do them.
  • Don’t lash out at your care partner. Rather than regret hurtful words, respond with an “I” statement or divert his/her attention. “I know you’re upset. I feel frustrated, too, etc.”
  • Use humor. Make a joke, put on a funny YouTube video.
  • Take yourself, your care partner, and your dog (if you have one) for a walk.
  • The British custom of making a cup of tea really works. Make a cup of green tea for added relaxation.
  • Use lavender oil to calm you down. Either put it in a wall plug-in diffuser or spritz your collar or a tissue that you can put inside a shirt pocket.  For more information about the use of aromatherapy to reduce stress, improve immunity, reduce agitation, and to promote relaxation read chapter 18 “Aromatherapy” in “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia” by Barbra Cohn.
  • Break open a dark chocolate bar and share it with your care partner. It reduces cortisol, the stress hormone that causes anxiety symptoms. Just a couple of pieces should do the trick.
  • Go into a quiet room and meditate.
  • Light a candle and put on some relaxing music.
  • Drink a tall glass of water, make an energy-boosting smoothie, or hot cocoa.

For more ways to destress, boost your energy and calm down, read “20 energy and stress fixes to use now!” https://wordpress.com/post/barbracohn.com/4998

If you continue to have anger issues, it might be good to speak to a therapist. It definitely helps to belong to a support group. To find an Alzheimer’s (and other dementias) support group in your area call 800-272-3900 or visit: https://www.alz.org/help-support/community/support-groups gclid=Cj0KCQiA7qP9BRCLARIsABDaZzhho3nQIye6hhfVM3umD7WeqWOeanDCfVcfmbF8Ld9MN5cGdPOAyCAaAjC7EALw_wcB

Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”–winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in self-help– in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

Is it okay to leave a person with Alzheimer’s home alone?

Confused woman at home alone

This is a tricky question. The short answer is it depends. It depends on a lot of things. But if you are asking the question, the answer is probably no.

Use this assessment questionnaire. These issues are difficult to think about, let alone deal with. But if you have a sense of unease when thinking about your care partner’s abilities, it’s time to put safety precautions in place.

  • How far along in the disease is the person? If the person is in the moderate phase of dementia, the phase when they need help with basic daily activities such as bathing and brushing their teeth, it’s not safe to leave him or her home alone.
  • Do they get easily confused?
  • Do they get lost walking around the neighborhood or in the house?
  • Do they follow you throughout the house?
  • Could they make a phone call if they need help or become anxious?
  • Do they still cook, make coffee or use the microwave? Do they forget to turn off the stove or oven? If so, they should not be allowed to cook any longer.
  • Are they able to make themselves something to eat? If not, could they find food that has been prepared for them, or are they able to find a snack?
  • Do they wander?
  • Do they recognize dangerous situations such as fire?
  • Are they susceptible to scam phone calls? Are they apt to provide private information?
  • Can the person engage in enjoyable hobbies or activities such as gardening, knitting, wood work?
  • Can they distinguish between a family, friend, neighbor and stranger if someone comes to the door?
  • Is it easy for them to toilet without assistance?
  • If there were an emergency in the house, could they leave and seek shelter?
  • Is there a possibility the person could damage or destroy your personal property if they got highly agitated?

Keep your care partner safe from wandering

There’s nothing more frightening than discovering that your care partner has wandered out of the house and is nowhere to be found. If the weather is very hot or very cold this could turn into an emergency situation. Or if the person needs a medication at a specific time, it could become a matter of life or death.

Here are some ways to reduce this risk.

Never leave your care partner alone in the car, even for a quick stop.

Hide the car keys. I had a neighbor whose husband took the car keys and drove off into an isolated area. Although the car was found, he was never seen again. It was an unspeakable tragedy.

Camouflage the exterior doors with curtains, a poster, or sign that says, “Stop,” or “Do not enter.

Don’t leave shoes, hats, coats, or keys near the exit doors. All are reminders of leaving home.

Inform your neighbors so if they see your care partner wandering around the neighborhood, they can alert you or the police, or gently guide the person home.

Have your care partner carry a photo ID, and wear a medical bracelet. Put labels inside their coat, hat, etc.,

Project Lifesaver is a program offered by police departments. Some police departments offer wristbands at discounted rates or at no charge. To find out or enroll in Project Lifesaver, contact your local police department and ask if they participate. Call Project Lifesaver International Headquarters at (757) 546-5502 or visit the Project Lifesaver website.

Enroll in the MedicAlert https://www.medicalert.org/ and Alzheimer’s Association’s safe-return program. Read about it here: https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/safety/medicalert-with-24-7-wandering-support. For a fee, participants receive an identification bracelet, necklace or clothing tags and access to 24-hour support in case of emergency. You also might have your loved one wear a GPS or other tracking device.

Read Dr. Laura Struble’s excellent article “How to Minimize Wandering in a Senior with Dementia” in which she says it’s important to first observe the person and try to figure out why your care partner is wandering or trying to leave, what they are trying to achieve, and where they want to go. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/help-a-senior-with-dementia-who-wanders-167541.htm

Safety first is always a good motto. It might take a little work and effort to put these safety measures into place, but it will definitely be worth it for your own peace of mind and for the health and safety of your care partner.

Care for the caregiver

If you are the caregiver of someone at home, it’s vital that you take care of yourself and get out of the house, hopefully, for at least a walk every day. During the coronavirus pandemic, you aren’t doing as much as you normally would outside of the house, but try to take a daily walk.

If you’re depressed, learn about 20 natural remedies that can uplift your mood. https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/barbracohn.com/5720 Or, 20 energy and stress fixes to use now! https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/barbracohn.com/4998

If you aren’t able to leave your care partner even for a short walk, it’s time to get respite care. When the time came for my husband to need full-time care, I hired someone to be with him husband twice a week so I could get out of the house. Is there a neighbor who would be willing to come in for 30 to 60 minutes twice a week? This might be tougher during the pandemic. But while the weather is still warm, a care person could take your loved one for an outing, sit on the porch with them, or go for a drive.

Be safe. Be well. Take care.

Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

Is your loved one in denial about their Alzheimer’s diagnosis?

After my husband had a heart attack in 1994, a friend told him that he appeared to have one foot in heaven. Morris was more focused on the celestial world and less engaged in his life on earth. He hibernated in his home office, and spent just a handful of hours at his business office each week. He watched too much television, and filled much of his day meditating. His greatest joy was participating in spiritual singing groups.

But I knew something was very wrong. I had an aunt who passed away from Alzheimer’s disease so I was familiar with the symptoms. When Morris started getting lost driving around town, when he departed for a road trip with our son and left behind his suitcase, and when he couldn’t give a friend’s son directions to the high school that Morris had graduated from, I suspected Alzheimer’s.

Morris thought I was ridiculous and refused to see a doctor. It took two more years before he finally agreed. After ruling out metabolic diseases, depression, nutritional deficiencies, and a brain tumor, the diagnosis was quick and clear. Yet, Morris continued to disbelieve that the doctor said he wouldn’t be able to drive in a couple of years.

There’s actually a term for denial of diagnosis. Anosonosia is the medical term for a person who lacks the insight of awareness to understand their own condition. A person with Alzheimer’s can refuse to believe that they have the disease because their brain isn’t fully capable of understanding the illness. Or the person might be in denial because of the stigma attached to having dementia or Alzheimer’s.

How can you help your loved one?

  1. Don’t keep reminding the person of their diagnosis. Instead, be supportive and allow him/her to do as much as they are capable of without taking over for them.
  2. They most likely feel depressed or bewildered or scared, or all of the above. Be a friend and let them know you are there for them.
  3. Listen to their rants, their feelings, their fears. And know that their outbursts of anger are not personal, although that’s difficult. Usually the person closest to the patient is the one that is subjected to the most anger and frustration. Your loved one is scared of how their world is falling apart. You are probably just as scared. Join a support group. The Alzheimer’s Association near you offers support groups for both the person with dementia and for family members. It is a god-send. https://www.alz.org/
  4. Encourage your loved one to do things that will reduce symptoms of the disease. Exercise, socialize (which may be difficult during the pandemic), listen to music, plant a garden, do art projects. There are dozens of ideas to reduce stress for both the patient and the caregiver in my book “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Dementia.” https://www.amazon.com/Calmer-Waters-Caregivers-Alzheimers-Dementia/dp/1681570149/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1543875890&sr=1-1&keywords=calmer+waters
  5. Pharmaceuticals for Alzheimer’s help to slow down the progression of the disease. Encourage your loved one to take what the doctor has prescribed.
  6. Although there is no magic bullet, natural supplements also help. Read: “5 Things that Help Dementia that your Doctor Probably Hasn’t Mentioned.” https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/barbracohn.com/5277
  7. Focus on eating a Mediterranean diet that includes fish, lots of fresh vegetables and fruit, nuts, and healthy fats—olive oil. https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/barbracohn.com/5170
  8. Help your loved one decrease use of cigarettes and alcohol.
  9. Emphasize a structured routine including getting to bed on time.
  10. Beautiful and simplify the environment with uplifting music and fresh flowers.

Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”–winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in self-help– in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

Why it’s important to get an early diagnosis when cognitive problems appear

Doctor talking with patient

There were several indications that something was wrong with my husband two years before he was diagnosed. This tall, good-looking man, a graduate of the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania, was having trouble calculating how much tip to leave a waitress. When we went to Spain for our twenty-fifth anniversary, Morris couldn’t figure out how much money the hotel would cost in dollars. This man, who once memorized trains and airplane schedules without even trying, followed me around the city like a puppy dog as we boarded a subway or bus enroute to tourist attractions.

That following fall — our daughter’s last year in high school — Morris couldn’t give directions to a friend who was taking the SAT at the high school my husband had attended. I got out the map to help him, but he couldn’t read the map. That was the moment I knew something was very wrong. When he left for a road trip to California without our son and forgot his suitcase, I sat on the stairs and cried. I couldn’t deny it any longer. I had a strong suspicion that Morris had Alzheimer’s disease, and although I pleaded with him for two years to see a neurologist, he refused.

What if he had gotten an early diagnosis? Would it have helped?

There’s no way to know for sure, but probably it would have. Because as soon as he started taking Aricept he stopped getting lost driving around our small city. And I started giving him nutritional supplements, which also seemed to help. Read “5 Things that Help Dementia that your Doctor Probably Hasn’t Mentioned.” https://barbracohn.com/2019/09/25/5-things-that-help-dementia-that-your-doctor-probably-hasnt-mentioned/

Professionals, both researchers and physicians and the Alzheimer’s Association, recommend that an early, accurate diagnosis is the key to living a less stressful life for both the patient and the family.

Here’s why:

  1. Cognitive problems can be caused by a number of physical conditions other than Alzheimer’s disease, vascular cognitive impairment, Lewy Bodies dementia and Frontotemporal dementia (FTD). These include thyroid problems, hydrocephalus, a brain tumor, and even depression. When my mother was severely dehydrated and hospitalized with a urinary tract infection (UTI), a psychiatrist called to tell me that she had full-blown dementia. “No she doesn’t,” I said. And sure enough, after being put on an IV saline drip Mom regained her full mental capacity. Memory problems can result from dehydration, severe diabetes and some forms of Parkinson’s disease, traumatic brain injury, HIV, and Huntington’s disease.

Certain medications can affect mental clarity and balance. Be sure to ask your pharmacist about drug contraindications, and interactions with natural supplements. Alcohol abuse and binge drinking can destroy brain cells that are critical for memory, thinking, and decision making and mimic or lead to dementia.

2. Cognitive symptoms may be reversible. There are a number of holistic doctors who claim that their protocol can treat the root cause of cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s disease. Please read my blog ” Significant study points to MIND diet for improving brain health and preventing Alzheimer’s disease.” https://barbracohn.com/2018/11/09/significant-study-points-to-mind-diet-for-improving-brain-health-and-preventing-alzheimers-disease/

Dale Bredesen, MD, a physician scientist in the Department of Pharmacology at UCLA who’s published more than 220 papers on Alzheimer’s, has spent 30 years looking at the root causes of the neurodegenerative phenomenon in hopes of eradicating it. In 2018, Bredesen published the case studies of more than 100 patients in cognitive decline in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease & Parkinsonism. https://www.omicsonline.org/open-access/reversal-of-cognitive-decline-100-patients-2161-0460-1000450.pdf

In her editorial in the Lancet Neurology, published in May 2020, Joanna Hellmuth, MD, of the UCSF Memory and Aging Center, said the “Bredesen protocol” – named by neurologist Dale Bredesen, MD – has reeled in patients and their families seeking hope outside of the physician’s office for a disease that is currently incurable.

The Bredesen protocol is propounded in his 2017 bestseller The End of Alzheimer’s Program and can be accessed for $1,399, which includes protocol assessments, lab tests and contact with practitioners, who provide the regimen for additional fees. Online support and cognitive games are available for an additional monthly charge. This protocol is timely, costly and requires steadfastness. But if you have the time and means, it’s probably worth a try.

3. An early diagnosis is empowering. Before the disease has progressed to the point where decision making is difficult, the patient can be included in financial and estate planning, creating end-of-life wishes and durable power of attorney decisions, etc.

4. An early diagnosis is easier for the physician to make when the patient is able to answer questions. Later in the progression of the disease, the patient isn’t able to make observations or answer accurately.

5. Family and loved ones who might be confused by particular behaviors such as anger, depression, disinterest, can better understand why their parent or spouse or significant other is behaving the way they are. This helps to preserve the person’s dignity rather than have someone close to them yell at them, treat them poorly, or want to distance them self, etc.

6. Individuals diagnosed early can take advantage of support groups, and caregivers can learn ways to better manage medications, and learn strategies for coping with unexpected and unusual behaviors and the ordinary progression of the disease. The Alzheimer’s Association was a godsend for me. I was able to connect with other caregivers who knew exactly what I was going through. I could talk about what was happening all day with my best friend, but there was no way she would be able to fully understand the stress of caregiving and the grief of losing a partner to Alzheimer’s. https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/research_progress/clinical-trials/about-clinical-trials

7. Getting an early diagnosis provides the opportunity to possibly enroll in a clinical trial. TrialMatch is a clinical trial matching service for Alzheimer’s and other dementias. It is a free, easy-to-use service that connects individuals living with AD, caregivers, and healthy volunteers with current research studies. Their continuously updated database of AD clinical studies includes hundreds of pharmacological and non-pharmacological studies being conducted at sites throughout the U.S. and online.

8. An early diagnosis allows the patient to prioritize what is important to them, whether it’s creating a masterpiece or traveling the world. There is still time at this point in the disease to enjoy a happy, satisfying life.

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Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

How to protect your loved ones from elder abuse during the coronavirus lockdown

senior man covering his face with his hands. Depression and anxiety Copy space.World Elder Abuse Awareness Day is June 15. According to the World Health Organization elder abuse is a violation of human rights and a significant cause of illness, injury, loss of productivity, isolation, and despair. It touches people across all socioeconomic groups, cultures, and races. But only about one in five cases is ever reported. People with dementia are particularly vulnerable because they are unable to recognize that they are being abused or to report it.

This year during the coronavirus lockdown, there have been massive increases in reports of elder abuse  ranging from financial scams to incidents of family violence.

The most vulnerable

Aging adults are highly susceptible to the deadly effects of COVID-19. Just knowing this, amps up anxiety levels and depressive symptoms in aging adults who might be isolated, lonely, and alienated from their families. Isolation and loneliness make the elderly even more vulnerable to scams, and to abuse by caregivers, neighbors, family and financial advisors.

Adults with mental disabilities and/or dementia who live in care facilities are exclusively cared for by staff who may not be in communication with family members. Family members have been restricted from entering the facilities in order to manage the spread of the virus. Consequently, family members are unable to see first-hand whether their loved one is being well cared for.

A news story recently reported that a son was shocked to learn that his father was severely dehydrated, hadn’t eaten for days, and was left in a dirty diaper for more than a couple days. The response he got from the facility was that they were short of staff because so many people were out sick.

Also, people who have diminished eye sight or hearing, or are confined to a wheel chair are vulnerable. My friend’s father who has macular degeneration and is hearing impaired was scammed out of thousands of dollars by a caller who claimed that she was his niece. She said that she was being held in jail and needed bond money. This type of family emergency scam has been going on for years via telephone calls.

We’ve all heard of telephone scams in which a caller claims he is a jailed grandson who pleads with his grandparents to send bail money, or the IRS scam where the caller threatens severe consequences if the senior doesn’t pay tardy taxes.

These types of occurrences are all too common, especially in under staffed, underfunded nursing homes.

Verify an emergency

If someone calls or sends a message claiming to be a family member or a friend desperate for money:

  • Resist the urge to act immediately, no matter how dramatic the story is.
  • Verify the person’s identity by asking questions that a stranger couldn’t possibly answer.
  • Call a phone number for your family member or friend that you know to be genuine.
  • Check the story out with someone else in your family or circle of friends, even if you’ve been told to keep it a secret.
  • Don’t wire money — or send a check or money order by overnight delivery or courier.
  • Report possible fraud at ftc.gov/complaint or by calling 1-877-FTC-HELP.
  •  Report COVID-19 related scams to the National Center for Disaster Fraud (1-866-720-5721)

 

Types of abuse

  • Physical–causing pain or injury
  • Neglect–failure to provide food, shelter, clothing, medical and other necessities required to provide a safe, nurturing environment
  • Emotional and Psychological—Verbal assaults, harassment, threats, intimidation
  • Confinement –restraining or isolating the person
  • Financial—Scams, misuse or withholding of the person’s financial resources to the disadvantage of the elderly person, and to the advantage of another person.
  • Deprivation—Denying the person medication, medical care, food, shelter or physical assistance
  • Sexual abuse –Any sexual activity, including fondling, when the person is unable to understand, unwilling to consent, or threatened or physically forced

Signs of abuse

  • Bruises, pressure marks, broken bones, abrasions and burns
  • Bruises around the breasts and genital area could indicate sexual abuse
  • Poor hygiene, bed sores, unattended medical needs, unusual weight loss
  • Sudden withdrawal from normal activities, unexpected depression, and a sudden change in alertness can be an indicator of emotional abuse. However, these symptoms can be the result of a progression of dementia or other disease.
  • Sudden changes in financial situation can be a result of exploitation.
  • Aggressive behavior from a caregiver or from the person being cared for can result in verbal or emotional abuse on either end.

Report abuse

Abuse can occur anywhere: at home, in nursing homes, and memory care homes. If you suspect abuse don’t hesitate to report it. You do not have to prove anything. It is up to the professional staff to investigate your suspicions, and put the proper safety measures in place.

If you suspect abuse, call the police or 911 immediately if you someone you know is in immediate or threatening danger.

Caregivers also are the recipients of abuse from the person they care for. If a caregiver feels physically threatened it’s important to get help in providing safe care for the person being cared for, possibly in a facility.

What can you do to protect yourself and your loved ones?

Report suspected mistreatment to your community’s Human Services Adult Protection agency and/or law enforcement office. Even if a situation has already been investigated, if you believe circumstances are getting worse, continue to speak out.

If you or others experience abuse or neglect in a community setting:

Report suspected abuse or exploitation to the local Adult Protective Services or Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program .

Human Services provides help with:

  • In-home assessment for abuse, neglect, and/or exploitation
  • Crisis intervention
  • Monthly visits by a case worker, if risk continues
  • Assistance with housing and/or placement to alternative housing
  • Assistance with obtaining benefits
  • Money management
  1. To report suspected abuse in a nursing home or long-term care facility, contact your local Long-Term Care Ombudsman. Each licensed long-term care facility is required to display a poster with the facility’s assigned ombudsman’s name and contact information. If you are a resident or family member of a resident in a facility, call the ombudsman listed on the poster. To learn more about the ombudsman program visit: Long-term care ombudsmen are advocates for residents of nursing homes, board and care homes and assisted living facilities. http://www.ltcombudsman.org
  2. Caregivers (both family and professionals) are most often the abusers of the elderly. Stress and feelings of being overwhelmed may provoke unintentional belligerent feelings. If you feel overwhelmed or frustrated as a caregiver, talk to someone for support.
  3. To speak with an Alzheimer’s Association Care Consultant call: 1-800-272-3900
  4. To find a support group in your area visit http://www.alz.org/apps/findus.asp
  5. To receive support from other caregivers visit https://www.alzconnected.org/
  6. To report an incident or concern of abuse or neglect, call the Alzheimer’s Association (1.800.272.3900) or Eldercare Locator (1.800.677.1116). You’ll be connected to your state or local adult protective services division or to a long-term care ombudsman. You do not need to prove that abuse is occurring — it is up to the professionals to investigate suspicions.
  7. Read more: http://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-elder-abuse.asp#ixzz2W9DhCbSL
  8. Keep in contact. Talk with your older friends, neighbors, and relatives. Maintaining communication will help decrease isolation, a risk factor for mistreatment. It will also provide a chance to talk about any problems they may be experiencing.
  9. Join Ageless Alliancea national, non-profit grassroots organization working to promote aging with dignity and eliminate elder abuse, neglect and exploitation through Awareness, Advocacy and Action. Based at the Center of Excellence on Elder Abuse and Neglect at the University of California, Irvine, Ageless Alliance is a grassroots campaign to give a voice to those who have been affected by elder abuse and abuse of adults with disabilities.
  10. Plan ahead to protect against financial exploitation. Download a handout on ways to protect yourself or a loved one.http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/Resources/Publication/docs/NCEA_ProtectYourself_web508.pdf
  11. Be aware of the possibility of abuse. Look around and take note of what may be happening with your older neighbors and acquaintances. Do they seem lately to be withdrawn, nervous, fearful, sad, or anxious, especially around certain people, when they have not seemed so in the past?
  12. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) office to identify local programs and sources of support, such as Meals on Wheels. These programs help elders to maintain health, well-being, and independence—a good defense against abuse. See the Eldercare Locator, www.eldercare.gov Welcome to the Eldercare Locator, a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging connecting you to services for older adults and their families. You can also reach us at 1-800-677-1116.

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Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

Why hydration is crucial, especially during the pandemic

Glass of waterAdipsia is the fancy name for the loss of the sense of thirst. As we get older, our sense of thirst diminishes, just as our sense of smell and taste diminish. Chronic dehydration  is one of the most common problems among seniors and the elderly who reside in care facilities.

If you have a loved one at home with dementia or in a care facility it’s important that you learn the signs of dehydration (below) and offer water or another beverage to your patient every hour and throughout the day.

Many older adults often limit their fluid intake because they may be incontinent or fear accidents. Those who have limited mobility may try to avoid another trip to the toilet. Individuals who have aphasia (inability to speak due to dementia or brain damage from  stroke, etc.) may not be able to express their thirst.

Better monitoring of fluid intake is needed at care facilities

Studies have shown that nearly all nursing home residents suffer from inadequate hydration. Additionally, in one study, 25 out of 40 participants suffered from diseases that may have been caused or exacerbated by their being dehydrated.

If your loved one is in a care facility now—during the COVID-19 pandemic–it is more important than ever to try to encourage them to drink. Ask the staff to put signs up in their room as a reminder. It’s especially important if your loved one has dementia and forgets to drink or is not thirsty.

What happens when you are dehydrated?

Your blood begins to thicken, which interferes with normal blood flow and viscosity. This is one of the reasons why, especially during the  pandemic, it’s crucial to stay hydrated. There have been many reports of blood clots and other cardiovascular episodes in patients with COVID-19. The kidneys, liver, pancreas and other organs can be severely affected from dehydration, and severe dehydration can lead to acute pancreatitis in some individuals.

Dehydration can interfere with brain function

This is a good example of what happens when our brains are dehydrated. My mom wasn’t able to walk the last two years of her life, and was dependent upon two private caregivers. She also drank thickened water, which is a disgusting thickened pudding-like liquid that substitutes for water. The reason?  She aspirated water and food into her lungs, which caused her to cough. Sometimes, the result was pneumonia. She may have felt thirsty and not wanted to bother with the thickened water, or maybe she wasn’t thirsty. But she ended up being severely dehydrated on more than one occasion.

When Mom was admitted to the hospital for a UTI (urinary tract infection), she developed delirium. A psychiatrist called me to report that my mom was exhibiting full-blown dementia. I had just spoken to Mom a day before and she sounded fine. I refused the offer of an antipsychotic drug for her, knowing well the high risk of putting an older adult on those drugs. (see Why you should throw away that antipsychotic drug prescribed for your loved one). As it turned out, my mom was severely dehydrated. After a couple days on a hydrating intravenous solution she returned to her normal self.

It’s important to learn the signs of dehydration in everyone, but especially in seniors and young children. The physical symptoms are usually clear:

  • dry lips and sticky or dry mouth
  • no tears when crying
  • dry, papery skin that tents when it is pressed
  • decreased urine output
  • sunken eyes
  • headache
  • lethargy
  • dark urine
  • extreme thirst
  • unable to sweat
  • fast breath rate
  • low blood pressure
  • the mental symptoms are not as obvious, but can result in mental confusion, irritability, delirium
  • extreme cases of dehydration can lead to loss of consciousness, coma, kidney failure, and seizures.

Ways to stay hydrated

If you are a caregiver (and that includes caring for yourself!) here are some helpful guidelines:

The rule of thumb is to have 48 to 64 ounces of non-sweetened, non-artificially sweetened drinks. Hydration keeps the body in proper pH (how acidic or alkaline your body is) and protects it from getting dehydrated, which is a cause of inflammation and other kinds of imbalances. Dehydration can also contribute to urinary tract infections (UTIs).

  • Encourage and remind your care partner to drink.
  • Drinking healthy fluids is important as eating healthy foods. Water is the top choice, followed by herbal teas, milk, vegetable and fruit juices. Remember that juices contain a lot of sugar, both natural and added, so don’t overdo them. Soups are nourishing and hydrating but be aware of the sodium content. Avoid carbonated and caffeinated drinks which have a diuretic effect.
  • Serve liquids at a temperature that your care partner likes. Not everyone enjoys ice water.
  • Flavor water with lime or lemon.
  • Remind your care partner not to wait until s/he is thirsty. By then s/he is already dehydrated.
  • Serve juicy fruits such as watermelon, which contain lots of water.
  • Offer healthy popsicles as an addition to drinks and to those who refuse water.
  • Smoothies and shakes are nourishing and filling.

The next time your mind is muddled, drink a tall glass of water and notice the difference. Drink plenty of water, fresh juices, and herbal teas to stay hydrated, flush out toxins and enjoy mental clarity. It is especially important now as we head into summer and during the COVID-19 pandemic. But it’s just as important all year round.


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Does dementia increase a person’s risk of getting Coronavirus?

Elderly woman looking sad out the window.Although dementia in itself doesn’t increase one’s risk, there are other factors that might contribute to a person’s increased risk.

Does the patient have any underlying conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, auto-immune disease, lung diseases including asthma and COPD, cancer? All of these increase risk of serious symptoms associated with the COVID-19 virus.

If a person with dementia is living at home, s/he may be at increased risk if they forget to wash their hands or socially distance. And, of course, as we are all well aware of, patients in care  facilities are at higher risk simply for the fact they are communally living together. Caregivers come in and out of the facility, go to their homes, and may be interact with others. See Should you move a family member back home from a care facility?

What can you do?

  • If your loved one is living at home and can still read, place sticky notes around the house  (refrigerator, bathroom, kitchen sink) in appropriate places to remind him/her to wash their hands.
  • Call often to check in. Use Zoom or Skype, Facetime, if the person can manage technology. Amazon’s new Portal, which is like a large iPad that is kept plugged in, is an easy device. Check it out: It’s a smart, hands-free video calling device with Alexa built-in.
  • Make sure your loved one has adequate food. If s/he can still prepare meals, drop off their groceries. If they have trouble in the kitchen, bring home-cooked meals or make arrangements with an organization such as Meals on Wheels that can deliver foods.
  • If you have to go inside the person’s home, make sure you have on a mask and gloves, and maintain physical distance as much as possible.
  • A person with dementia is probably not keeping a clean, tidy home, which is important to health and wellness. Try to clean around the person. Have him or her sit in front of the TV or at the kitchen table, while you vacuum and clean the bathroom. Then move him/her to another room in order to clean the kitchen.
  • The main thing is to stay in daily contact. Have the grandkids write notes and draw pictures to send in the mail. If you live in the same town, visit from the lawn and have your loved one sit on the front or back porch.
  • Set up a daily schedule for your loved one. Keep it posted on the fridge. For example: 8:00–wake up, toilet, brush teeth, shower. 8:30 Take meds, eat breakfast. 9:30 Do fitness routine, etc. Do 10 sit-to-stands while watching TV. Walk through the house for 10 minutes a couple times a day.
  • It’s important to protect our loved ones physically but to engage them socially to prevent loneliness and to keep them mentally stimulated. Here’s a great way for seniors whose dementia is minimal.

Well Connected (formerly called Senior Center Without Walls), is a telephone-based national program that offers free weekly activities, education, friendly conversation, classes, support groups, and presentations to individuals 60 years or older anywhere in the United States for English and Spanish speakers. There are activities occurring throughout the day, every day 10:00 am-8:00 pm, Mountain Time, depending on the day. Sessions run between 30 minutes to one hour.

Play a game, write a poem, go on a virtual tour, meditate, share a gratitude, get support, and most importantly, connect and engage with others every day. Well Connected is a community consisting of participants, staff, facilitators, presenters, and other volunteers who care about each other and who value being connected. All groups are accessible by phone and many are accessible online.

Well Connected offers 75 different programs. People can join a particular group, call in the same time each week, hear the same voices on a regular basis and make friends. This has a positive impact on their emotional and physical life. “The gratitude activity, which is offered twice a day, is especially popular and well attended,” says Wade, Social Call director (see below). “Participants share something they are grateful for. This allows for an increase in social connectedness. We also have fun and intellectual programs that help individuals feel valued, stimulated and engaged, and sometimes we invite presenters from the outside in.”

Wade pointed out that Well Connected, is not just for people with mobility concerns. We get folks who are active, people who are married and individuals in a co-housing situation. Anyone can feel lonely, she says. “We take a survey every year and the results indicate that 85% of our participants feel more intellectually stimulated and  socially connected. And on a daily basis, we get calls of gratitude from participants who say, ‘this program saved my live,’” says Wade.

Well Connected also offers a program called Social Call, in which volunteers call participants for a weekly phone visit. For more information, email coviaconnections@covia.org or call 877-797-7299.

Well Connected is an award-winning program of Covia, formerly called Episcopal Senior Communities. For more information: To register call 1-877-797-7299,  https://covia.org/services/well-connected/


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Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at AmazonBarnes & NobleBoulder Book StoreTattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.