Category Archives: Elder Abuse

The memory care home wants to evict my loved one! What should I do?

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Caregiver yelling at man in wheel-chair

Sometimes a person with dementia will act out and strike the person who just happens to walk by, or the person who accidentally walks into their room. Or, the aggressor might bite another person. Aggressive behaviors aren’t that unusual, but sometimes they get out of control. If they continue, the director of the memory care home will give the family a warning, and if the behavior isn’t resolved, the patient may be asked to leave.

Before things get out of control, there are modalities that can be used to help calm things down. Please read Chapter 18 “Aromatherapy” in Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s and Dementia by Barbra Cohn (see below) on how essential oils can immediately diffuse a tense situation. The book contains 19 other healing modalities that really do work.

In our case, the care facility wanted my husband to leave because he became too needy. Even though the director assured me that the facility would be able to take care of him to the end of his Alzheimer’s journey when I signed the contract for him to move in, that’s not what happened.

After Morris had surgery for a kidney stone, he was unable to walk or toilet by himself. He couldn’t do much of anything anymore. He stopped talking and couldn’t feed himself. The facility where he had been for two years refused to accept him back from the hospital. The hospital discharged him on a Friday afternoon and we had to scramble for a facility that would take him. It was stressful and the new facility was awful. I begged the home where he had been to take him back, and they agreed, but with a big caveat. I had to hire a care person to be with Morris one-on-one because the facility didn’t have the staff to give him the extra care that he needed.

We hired extra care, but the cost became prohibitive. I moved Morris for the third time in four weeks to a different facility that specialized in end-stage Alzheimer’s. It was the perfect decision. He died there two weeks later, after having compassionate end-of-life care.

If things hadn’t gotten so crazy, and my husband hadn’t deteriorated as quickly as he did, I would have called my ombudsman to help me communicate with the first memory care home’s director. Her refusal to take Morris back after his hospitalization was virtually the same as kicking him out, and it was contrary to what was promised when I signed the initial contract: that they’d care for him until the end.

Contact your ombudsman

If you have any similar issues, contact your ombudsman. An ombudsman is someone who advocates for the health, safety, and rights of individuals in long-term facilities (LTC), and ensures that the residents are protected by the standards required under the Nursing Home Reform Law of 1987. Under the federal Older Americans Act, every state is required to have an Ombudsman Program that addresses complaints and advocates for improvements in the long-term care system. 

Unlawful evictions are one of the major complaints that an ombudsman deals with. The ombudsman will

If you can’t resolve a conflict or your concerns with the director of the facility or are uncomfortable, you can contact your ombudsman to:

  • Investigate suspected abuse (mental, physical, and emotional) of your loved one
  • Review inadequate staffing or training that should meet the level of care expected and promised
  • Discuss and resolve grievances that you and the staff have
  • Learn about your options and legal rights

Who can use an Ombudsman?

  • Residents of any nursing home or board and care facility, including assisted living facilities
  • A family member or friend of a nursing home resident
  • A nursing home administrator or employee with a concern about a resident at their facility
  • Any individual or citizen’s group interested in the welfare of residents
  • Individuals and families who are considering long-term care placement

How do I contact my Ombudsman?

Residential care communities must post the area’s ombudsman program contact information and responsibilities. You can also search for your state’s ombudsman by visiting the Elder Care Locator website (eldercare.acl.gov) or contact the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America’s (AFA) Helpline – 866-232-8484.

What if my loved one is asked to leave because of aggressive behavior?

First, try to figure out why your loved one is acting out. Does s/he have a urinary tract infection? Is s/he in pain because of a tooth abscess? Have a physician do a complete physical exam to rule out pain. Your loved one may be unable to articulate what is bothering them.

Be on the lookout for bruises, bedsores, stomach upset, missing personal items such as eyeglasses, or anything else that may be the cause of a change in behavior. Is another resident walking into your loved one’s room accidentally? Is loud music being played in the dining room? What about community TV shows? Are they violent, disturbing, or too loud?

Sadly, residents who have behavior issues are often given medications to control their outbursts. Try everything you can before resorting to those. My husband was given a sedating drug at one point and he became catatonic. As soon as I ordered the doctor to take him off the drug, Morris quickly reverted to his usual, pleasant self. When he would start to show agitation, I’d plug in an aromatherapy diffuser with a blend of oils that immediately calmed him down.

Essential oils can diffuse feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, etc. Lavender oil is the most frequently used fragrance. You can also try bergamot, grapefruit, lemon, orange, clary sage, geranium, rose, and ylang-ylang, frankincense, and myrrh. Put the oil in a diffuser or spray bottle to mist your loved one’s collar or pillow. Find a fragrance that is pleasing to them.

It’s always in everyone’s best interest to try to solve things amicably. An attorney can help review your contract with the facility, especially when it comes to involuntary transfers and aggressive behavior. But hopefully, the situation won’t get to that point.

All the best to you in the new year,

Barbra

Calmer WatersAbout Barbra

Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Boulder Book Store, Tattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

How to protect your loved ones from elder abuse during the coronavirus lockdown

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senior man covering his face with his hands. Depression and anxiety Copy space.World Elder Abuse Awareness Day is June 15. According to the World Health Organization elder abuse is a violation of human rights and a significant cause of illness, injury, loss of productivity, isolation, and despair. It touches people across all socioeconomic groups, cultures, and races. But only about one in five cases is ever reported. People with dementia are particularly vulnerable because they are unable to recognize that they are being abused or to report it.

This year during the coronavirus lockdown, there have been massive increases in reports of elder abuse ranging from financial scams to incidents of family violence. https://www.levinperconti.com/nursing-home-abuse/

The most vulnerable

Aging adults are highly susceptible to the deadly effects of COVID-19. Just knowing this, amps up anxiety levels and depressive symptoms in aging adults who might be isolated, lonely, and alienated from their families. Isolation and loneliness make the elderly even more vulnerable to scams, and to abuse by caregivers, neighbors, family and financial advisors.

Adults with mental disabilities and/or dementia who live in care facilities are exclusively cared for by staff who may not be in communication with family members. Family members have been restricted from entering the facilities in order to manage the spread of the virus. Consequently, family members are unable to see first-hand whether their loved one is being well cared for.

A news story recently reported that a son was shocked to learn that his father was severely dehydrated, hadn’t eaten for days, and was left in a dirty diaper for more than a couple days. The response he got from the facility was that they were short of staff because so many people were out sick.

Also, people who have diminished eye sight or hearing, or are confined to a wheel chair are vulnerable. My friend’s father who has macular degeneration and is hearing impaired was scammed out of thousands of dollars by a caller who claimed that she was his niece. She said that she was being held in jail and needed bond money. This type of family emergency scam has been going on for years via telephone calls.

We’ve all heard of telephone scams in which a caller claims he is a jailed grandson who pleads with his grandparents to send bail money, or the IRS scam where the caller threatens severe consequences if the senior doesn’t pay tardy taxes.

These types of occurrences are all too common, especially in under staffed, underfunded nursing homes.

Verify an emergency

If someone calls or sends a message claiming to be a family member or a friend desperate for money:

  • Resist the urge to act immediately, no matter how dramatic the story is.
  • Verify the person’s identity by asking questions that a stranger couldn’t possibly answer.
  • Call a phone number for your family member or friend that you know to be genuine.
  • Check the story out with someone else in your family or circle of friends, even if you’ve been told to keep it a secret.
  • Don’t wire money — or send a check or money order by overnight delivery or courier.
  • Report possible fraud at ftc.gov/complaint or by calling 1-877-FTC-HELP.
  •  Report COVID-19 related scams to the National Center for Disaster Fraud (1-866-720-5721)

Types of abuse

  • Physical–causing pain or injury
  • Neglect–failure to provide food, shelter, clothing, medical and other necessities required to provide a safe, nurturing environment
  • Emotional and Psychological—Verbal assaults, harassment, threats, intimidation
  • Confinement –restraining or isolating the person
  • Financial—Scams, misuse or withholding of the person’s financial resources to the disadvantage of the elderly person, and to the advantage of another person.
  • Deprivation—Denying the person medication, medical care, food, shelter or physical assistance
  • Sexual abuse –Any sexual activity, including fondling, when the person is unable to understand, unwilling to consent, or threatened or physically forced

Signs of abuse

  • Bruises, pressure marks, broken bones, abrasions and burns
  • Bruises around the breasts and genital area could indicate sexual abuse
  • Poor hygiene, bed sores, unattended medical needs, unusual weight loss
  • Sudden withdrawal from normal activities, unexpected depression, and a sudden change in alertness can be an indicator of emotional abuse. However, these symptoms can be the result of a progression of dementia or other disease.
  • Sudden changes in financial situation can be a result of exploitation.
  • Aggressive behavior from a caregiver or from the person being cared for can result in verbal or emotional abuse on either end.

Report abuse

Abuse can occur anywhere: at home, in nursing homes, and memory care homes. If you suspect abuse don’t hesitate to report it. You do not have to prove anything. It is up to the professional staff to investigate your suspicions, and put the proper safety measures in place.

If you suspect abuse, call the police or 911 immediately if you someone you know is in immediate or threatening danger.

Caregivers also are the recipients of abuse from the person they care for. If a caregiver feels physically threatened it’s important to get help in providing safe care for the person being cared for, possibly in a facility.

What can you do to protect yourself and your loved ones?

Report suspected mistreatment to your community’s Human Services Adult Protection agency and/or law enforcement office. Even if a situation has already been investigated, if you believe circumstances are getting worse, continue to speak out.

If you or others experience abuse or neglect in a community setting:

Report suspected abuse or exploitation to the local Adult Protective Services or Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program .

Human Services provides help with:

  • In-home assessment for abuse, neglect, and/or exploitation
  • Crisis intervention
  • Monthly visits by a case worker, if risk continues
  • Assistance with housing and/or placement to alternative housing
  • Assistance with obtaining benefits
  • Money management
  1. To report suspected abuse in a nursing home or long-term care facility, contact your local Long-Term Care Ombudsman. Each licensed long-term care facility is required to display a poster with the facility’s assigned ombudsman’s name and contact information. If you are a resident or family member of a resident in a facility, call the ombudsman listed on the poster. To learn more about the ombudsman program visit: Long-term care ombudsmen are advocates for residents of nursing homes, board and care homes and assisted living facilities. http://www.ltcombudsman.org
  2. Caregivers (both family and professionals) are most often the abusers of the elderly. Stress and feelings of being overwhelmed may provoke unintentional belligerent feelings. If you feel overwhelmed or frustrated as a caregiver, talk to someone for support.
  3. To speak with an Alzheimer’s Association Care Consultant call: 1-800-272-3900
  4. To find a support group in your area visit http://www.alz.org/apps/findus.asp
  5. To receive support from other caregivers visit https://www.alzconnected.org/
  6. To report an incident or concern of abuse or neglect, call the Alzheimer’s Association (1.800.272.3900) or Eldercare Locator (1.800.677.1116). You’ll be connected to your state or local adult protective services division or to a long-term care ombudsman. You do not need to prove that abuse is occurring — it is up to the professionals to investigate suspicions.
  7. Read more: http://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-elder-abuse.asp#ixzz2W9DhCbSL
  8. Keep in contact. Talk with your older friends, neighbors, and relatives. Maintaining communication will help decrease isolation, a risk factor for mistreatment. It will also provide a chance to talk about any problems they may be experiencing.
  9. Join Ageless Alliance, a national, non-profit grassroots organization working to promote aging with dignity and eliminate elder abuse, neglect and exploitation through Awareness, Advocacy and Action. Based at the Center of Excellence on Elder Abuse and Neglect at the University of California, Irvine, Ageless Alliance is a grassroots campaign to give a voice to those who have been affected by elder abuse and abuse of adults with disabilities.
  10. Plan ahead to protect against financial exploitation. Download a handout on ways to protect yourself or a loved one.http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/Resources/Publication/docs/NCEA_ProtectYourself_web508.pdf
  11. Be aware of the possibility of abuse. Look around and take note of what may be happening with your older neighbors and acquaintances. Do they seem lately to be withdrawn, nervous, fearful, sad, or anxious, especially around certain people, when they have not seemed so in the past?
  12. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) office to identify local programs and sources of support, such as Meals on Wheels. These programs help elders to maintain health, well-being, and independence—a good defense against abuse. See the Eldercare Locator, www.eldercare.gov Welcome to the Eldercare Locator, a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging connecting you to services for older adults and their families. You can also reach us at 1-800-677-1116.

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Barbra Cohn cared for her husband Morris for 10 years. He passed away from younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2010. Afterward, she was compelled to write “Calmer Waters: The Caregiver’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s & Dementia”—Winner of the 2018 Book Excellence Award in Self-Help—in order to help other caregivers feel healthier and happier, have more energy, sleep better, feel more confident, deal with feelings of guilt and grief, and to ultimately experience inner peace. “Calmer Waters” is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Boulder Book Store, Tattered Cover Book Store,  Indie Bound.org, and many other fine independent bookstores, as well as public libraries.

12 ways to protect yourself and loved ones from Elder Abuse

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senior woman with her hands signaling to stop over light backgroundWorld Elder Abuse Awareness Day is June 15th and according to the World Health Organization elder abuse is a violation of human rights and a significant cause of illness, injury, loss of productivity, isolation, and despair. It touches people across all socioeconomic groups, cultures, and races. But only about one in five cases is ever reported. People with dementia are particularly vulnerable because they are unable to recognize that they are being abused or to report it.

Also, people who have diminished eyesight or hearing, or are confined to a wheelchair are vulnerable. My friend’s father who has macular degeneration and is hearing impaired was scammed out of thousands of dollars by a caller who claimed that she was his niece. She claimed that she was being held in jail and needed bond money. This family emergency scam has been going on for years.

Verify an Emergency

If someone calls or sends a message claiming to be a family member or a friend desperate for money:

  • Resist the urge to act immediately, no matter how dramatic the story is.
  • Verify the person’s identity by asking questions that a stranger couldn’t possibly answer.
  • Call a phone number for your family member or friend that you know to be genuine.
  • Check the story out with someone else in your family or circle of friends, even if you’ve been told to keep it a secret.
  • Don’t wire money — or send a check or money order by overnight delivery or courier.
  • Report possible fraud at ftc.gov/complaint or by calling 1-877-FTC-HELP.

Another friend’s mother lived in Florida where she had round-the-clock nursing care in her own home. At the end of her life she suffered from dementia and was frail and bed-ridden. When Cheryl (name has been changed) went for a visit, she discovered that her mother had been cruelly beaten, and even though her two caregivers were women, it was apparent there she had been sexually abused. The poor woman’s genital area was swollen and bruised.

Physical abuse is not the only type of abuse targeted at the elderly. I know of two families who lost their inheritance because of financial fraud and theft. In one family the elderly father was cared for by a young woman who convinced him to marry her in order to be the beneficiary of his estate. The man’s family was unable to get a penny or access to the family home they had grown up in. Another elderly man assigned a trustee to overlook his financial affairs. The trustee stole his money and even though one of his adult children is a lawyer, the family was unable to recover a penny of their inheritance.

We’ve all heard of telephone scams in which a caller claims he is a jailed grandson who pleads with his grandparents to send bail money, or the IRS scam where the caller threatens severe consequences if the senior doesn’t pay tardy taxes.

These types of occurrences are all too common, especially in understaffed, under funded nursing homes.

Report abuse

Abuse can occur anywhere: at home, in nursing homes, and memory care homes. If you suspect abuse don’t hesitate to report it. You do not have to prove anything. It is up to the professional staff to investigate your suspicions, and put the proper safety measures in place.

Types of abuse

  • Physical–causing pain or injury
  • Neglect–failure to provide food, shelter, clothing, medical and other necessities required to provide a safe, nurturing environment
  • Emotional and Psychological—Verbal assaults, harassment, threats, intimidation
  • Confinement –restraining or isolating the person
  • Financial—Scams, misuse or withholding of the person’s financial resources to the disadvantage of the elderly person, and to the advantage of another person.
  • Deprivation—Denying the person medication, medical care, food, shelter or physical assistance
  • Sexual abuse –Any sexual activity, including fondling, when the person is unable to understand, unwilling to consent, or threatened or physically forced

Signs of abuse

  • Bruises, pressure marks, broken bones, abrasions and burns
  • Bruises around the breasts and genital area could indicate sexual abuse
  • Poor hygiene, bed sores, unattended medical needs, unusual weight loss
  • Sudden withdrawal from normal activities, unexpected depression, and a sudden change in alertness can be an indicator of emotional abuse. However, these symptoms can be the result of a progression of dementia or other diseases.
  • Sudden changes in financial situations can be a result of exploitation.
  • Aggressive behavior from a caregiver or from the person being cared for can result in verbal or emotional abuse on either end.

Caregivers also are the recipients of abuse from the person they care for. If a caregiver feels physically threatened it’s important to get help in providing safe care for the person being cared for, possibly in a facility.

For a complete guide to elder abuse, and to learn about a free legal consultation click here: https://www.levinperconti.com/nursing-home-abuse/

What can you do to protect yourself and your loved ones?

Report suspected mistreatment to your community’s Human Services Adult Protection agency and/or law enforcement office. Even if a situation has already been investigated, if you believe circumstances are getting worse, continue to speak out.

If you or others experience abuse or neglect in a community setting:

Adult Protective Services (APS) is there to help. The APS mission is to ensure the safety and well-being of elders and dependent adults. Unfortunately, it is estimated that millions of U.S. elders, from all walks of life, face abuse and neglect every year. Anyone can be victimized. However, there are things you can do to help protect yourself from abuse and neglect…

Human Services provides help with:

  • In-home assessment for abuse, neglect, and/or exploitation
  • Crisis intervention
  • Monthly visits by a case worker, if risk continues
  • Assistance with housing and/or placement to alternative housing
  • Assistance with obtaining benefits
  • Money management
  1. To report suspected abuse in a nursing home or long-term care facility, contact your local Long-Term Care Ombudsman. Each licensed long-term care facility is required to display a poster with the facility’s assigned ombudsman’s name and contact information. If you are a resident or family member of a resident in a facility, call the ombudsman listed on the poster. To learn more about the ombudsman program visit: Long-term care ombudsmen are advocates for residents of nursing homes, board and care homes and assisted living facilities. http://www.ltcombudsman.org
  2. Caregivers (both family and professionals) are most often the abusers of the elderly. Stress and feelings of being overwhelmed may provoke unintentional belligerent feelings. If you feel overwhelmed or frustrated as a caregiver, talk to someone for support.
  3. To speak with an Alzheimer’s Association Care Consultant call: 1-800-272-3900
  4. To find a support group in your area visit http://www.alz.org/apps/findus.asp
  5. To receive support from other caregivers visit https://www.alzconnected.org/
  6. To report an incident or concern of abuse or neglect, call the Alzheimer’s Association (1.800.272.3900) or Eldercare Locator (1.800.677.1116). You’ll be connected to your state or local adult protective services division or to a long-term care ombudsman. You do not need to prove that abuse is occurring — it is up to the professionals to investigate suspicions.
  7. Read more: http://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-elder-abuse.asp#ixzz2W9DhCbSL
  8. Keep in contact. Talk with your older friends, neighbors, and relatives. Maintaining communication will help decrease isolation, a risk factor for mistreatment. It will also provide a chance to talk about any problems they may be experiencing.
  9. Join Ageless Alliance, a national, non-profit grassroots organization working to promote aging with dignity and eliminate elder abuse, neglect and exploitation through Awareness, Advocacy and Action. Based at the Center of Excellence on Elder Abuse and Neglect at the University of California, Irvine, Ageless Alliance is a grassroots campaign to give a voice to those who have been affected by elder abuse and abuse of adults with disabilities.
  10. Plan ahead to protect against financial exploitation. Download a handout on ways to protect yourself or a loved one.http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/Resources/Publication/docs/NCEA_ProtectYourself_web508.pdf
  11. Be aware of the possibility of abuse. Look around and take note of what may be happening with your older neighbors and acquaintances. Do they seem lately to be withdrawn, nervous, fearful, sad, or anxious, especially around certain people, when they have not seemed so in the past?
  12. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) office to identify local programs and sources of support, such as Meals on Wheels. These programs help elders to maintain health, well-being, and independence—a good defense against abuse. See the Eldercare Locator, www.eldercare.gov Welcome to the Eldercare Locator, a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging connecting you to services for older adults and their families.You can also reach us at 1-800-677-1116.

12 ways to make sure your loved one is safe in a nursing home

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Nurse serving food in nursing homeIt’s horrific and tragic that eight residents of a nursing home in Hollywood, Florida died this week as a result of dehydration, respiratory distress, and heat-related issues.  The nursing home administrator Jorge Carballo said “The Center and its medical and administrative staff diligently prepared for the impact of Hurricane Irma. We took part in emergency management preparedness calls with local and state emergency officials, other nursing homes and health regulators. In compliance with state regulations, the Center did have a generator on standby in the event it would be needed to power life safety systems. The Center also had seven days of food, water, ice and other supplies, including gas for the generator.”

But clearly something was wrong, very wrong. One man who learned about his mother’s death from a report said communication with the staff had always been difficult, so it did not strike him as unusual that his calls were not returned. Lack of communication is a big red flag.

My husband spent a little over two years in an assisted care facility, and my mother lived in a continuum care facility for seven years. Here is what I learned from my experience as the primary family caregiver responsible for making decisions about their care.

  1. If you anticipate that your loved one will be going into a nursing home or assisted living facility in the near future prepare months in advance. Visit a number of facilities in the area where s/he will live. Once you shorten the list to two or three, drop in unannounced so you can observe how the patients are treated. Supposedly, the best time to “drop in” is Saturday evening when there are fewer staff members around and visitors are not expected. Your senior services ombudsman will know which facilities have had complaints filed against them and can give you an idea of which ones to look at based on your family’s needs.
  2. Notice if residents are crying out for help, are in distress or appear dehydrated, and if their needs are attended to quickly. Be aware of odors (especially ammonia or urine) and whether the halls, dining areas, and residents’ rooms are clean.
  3. Once your loved one makes the transition into a home, get to know the staff—as intimately as your time allows. By making a personal connection with the people who care for your loved one, you will become more than a familiar face.  Professional caregivers make little income, have a huge responsibility, and are often the people who know best about the patient’s needs and status. These are people with families of their own. Ask about their child’s sports team or dance class. Ask about their grandchild’s birthday, etc. Your personal interest in their life will be appreciated and they will naturally develop an interest in your loved one and your family.
  4. A friend of mine visits his wife in a nursing home every single day, bringing her fresh berries or cut-up melon because the home doesn’t provide fresh fruit. It’s not practical for everyone to visit a loved one every day, but when you do, bring something nutritious such as fresh fruit instead of sweets. Fresh fruit is usually easy to eat and provides vitamins and antioxidants that help prevent colds and flues.
  5. Make sure water is provided throughout the day–not just that it is available but that it is offered. Seniors often lose the signal that they are thirsty and dehydration can be a serious problem for the frail and elderly.
  6. If your loved one is incontinent, make sure there are plenty of adult diapers in the room and that s/he is being changed regularly. Urinary tract infections are a serious problem with this population and staying dry and clean is a key to preventing them!
  7. Be on the alert for bruises or sores. A bed sore can lead to a systemic infection and death. Speak to the attending doctor or nurse immediately if you notice a sore that is not healing. A bruise can indicate that your loved one has fallen or, in the unlikely but not unheard event, that s/he has been abused.
  8. Sit with your loved one while s/he eats in the dining room. Is she able to feed herself or does she sit there not knowing what to do with her sandwich? If it is a problem, make arrangements with one of the staff to help her.
  9. Does your loved one require oxygen? Nursing homes are required to have generators in case of power outages such as during a hurricane. Familiarize yourself with the provider of the oxygen that your loved one receives and make sure the company is equipped to provide liquid oxygen for use when there is no power.
  10. Remove all loose rugs and obstacles in the room that your loved one might trip on. Also, place a lamp in easy reach of the bed so s/he doesn’t fall while trying to turn it off or on.
  11. My husband lost numerous pairs of glasses when he was in the assisted living home. Leave at least one extra pair with the floor nurse, and keep an extra pair at home.
  12. Know who to talk to if you have a question or concern. Over the years, I had to speak with the director of the facility where my mother lived several times. Don’t be shy and don’t be afraid of making a nuisance of yourself. Your family might be paying big bucks for the care you expect. If something is not agreeable to your loved one or your family speak up. Most of the time the director will be appreciative to hear your concerns and the matter will be quickly remedied. If not, contact the regulatory agency in your state to file a complaint. On this page you’ll find contact information for each state and territory. We provide information (where available) so that you can: 1) file a complaint about a nursing home; and 2) find additional nursing home information provided by a state.

Protecting Yourself and Loved Ones from Elder Abuse

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Stop Elder Abuse Sign

Stop Elder Abuse Sign, An American road stop sign with words Elder Abuse with stormy sky background

World Elder Abuse Awareness Day is June 15th and according to the World Health Organization elder abuse is a violation of human rights and a significant cause of illness, injury, loss of productivity, isolation, and despair. It touches people across all socioeconomic groups, cultures, and races. But only about one in five cases is ever reported. People with dementia are particularly vulnerable because they are unable to recognize that they are being abused or to report it.

My friend’s mother lived in Florida where she had round-the-clock nursing care in her own home. At the end of her life she suffered from dementia and was frail and bed-ridden. When Cheryl (name has been changed) went for a visit, she discovered that her mother had been cruelly beaten, and even though her two caregivers were women, it was apparent there she had been sexually abused. The poor woman’s genital area was swollen and bruised.

Physical abuse is not the only type of abuse targeted at the elderly. I know of two families who lost their inheritance because of financial fraud and theft. In one family the elderly father was cared for by a young woman who convinced him to marry her in order to be the beneficiary of his estate. The man’s family was unable to get a penny or access to the family home they had grown up in. Another elderly man assigned a trustee to overlook his financial affairs. The trustee stole his money and even though one of his adult children is a lawyer, the family was unable to recover a penny of their inheritance.

We’ve all heard of telephone scams in which a caller claims he is a jailed grandson who pleads with his grandparents to send bail money, or the IRS scam where the caller threatens severe consequences if the senior doesn’t pay tardy taxes.

These types of occurrences are all too common, especially in under staffed, under funded nursing homes.

Report abuse

Abuse can occur anywhere: at home, in nursing homes, and memory care homes. If you suspect abuse don’t hesitate to report it. You do not have to prove anything. It is up to the professional staff to investigate your suspicions, and put the proper safety measures in place.

Types of abuse

  • Physical–causing pain or injury
  • Neglect–failure to provide food, shelter, clothing, medical and other necessities required to provide a safe, nurturing environment
  • Emotional and Psychological—Verbal assaults, harassment, threats, intimidation
  • Confinement –restraining or isolating the person
  • Financial—Scams, misuse or withholding of the person’s financial resources to the disadvantage of the elderly person, and to the advantage of another person.
  • Deprivation—Denying the person medication, medical care, food, shelter or physical assistance
  • Sexual abuse –Any sexual activity, including fondling, when the person is unable to understand, unwilling to consent, or threatened or physically forced

Signs of abuse

  • Bruises, pressure marks, broken bones, abrasions and burns
  • Bruises around the breasts and genital area could indicate sexual abuse
  • Poor hygiene, bed sores, unattended medical needs, unusual weight loss
  • Sudden withdrawal from normal activities, unexpected depression, and a sudden change in alertness can be an indicator of emotional abuse. However, these symptoms can be the result of a progression of dementia or other disease.
  • Sudden changes in financial situation can be a result of exploitation.
  • Aggressive behavior from a caregiver or from the person being cared for can result in verbal or emotional abuse on either end.

Caregivers also are the recipients of abuse from the person they care for. If a caregiver feels physically threatened it’s important to get help in providing safe care for the person being cared for, possibly in a facility.

What can you do to protect yourself and your loved ones?

Report suspected mistreatment to your community’s Human Services Adult Protection agency and/or law enforcement office. Even if a situation has already been investigated, if you believe circumstances are getting worse, continue to speak out.

If you or others experience abuse or neglect in a community setting:

Adult Protective Services (APS) is there to help. The APS mission is to ensure the safety and well-being of elders and dependent adults. Unfortunately, it is estimated that millions of U.S. elders, from all walks of life, face abuse and neglect every year. Anyone can be victimized. However, there are things you can do to help protect yourself from abuse and neglect…

Human Services provides help with:

  • In-home assessment for abuse, neglect, and/or exploitation
  • Crisis intervention
  • Monthly visits by a case worker, if risk continues
  • Assistance with housing and/or placement to alternative housing
  • Assistance with obtaining benefits
  • Money management
  1. To report suspected abuse in a nursing home or long-term care facility, contact your local Long-Term Care Ombudsman. Each licensed long-term care facility is required to display a poster with the facility’s assigned ombudsman’s name and contact information. If you are a resident or family member of a resident in a facility, call the ombudsman listed on the poster. To learn more about the ombudsman program visit: Long-term care ombudsmen are advocates for residents of nursing homes, board and care homes and assisted living facilities. http://www.ltcombudsman.org
  2. Caregivers (both family and professionals) are most often the abusers of the elderly. Stress and feelings of being overwhelmed may provoke unintentional belligerent feelings. If you feel overwhelmed or frustrated as a caregiver, talk to someone for support.
  3. To speak with an Alzheimer’s Association Care Consultant call: 1-800-272-3900
  4. To find a support group in your area visit http://www.alz.org/apps/findus.asp
  5. To receive support from other caregivers visit https://www.alzconnected.org/
  6. To report an incident or concern of abuse or neglect, call the Alzheimer’s Association (1.800.272.3900) or Eldercare Locator (1.800.677.1116). You’ll be connected to your state or local adult protective services division or to a long-term care ombudsman. You do not need to prove that abuse is occurring — it is up to the professionals to investigate suspicions.
  7. Read more: http://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-elder-abuse.asp#ixzz2W9DhCbSL
  8. Keep in contact. Talk with your older friends, neighbors, and relatives. Maintaining communication will help decrease isolation, a risk factor for mistreatment. It will also provide a chance to talk about any problems they may be experiencing.
  9. Join Ageless Alliance, a national, non-profit grassroots organization working to to promote aging with dignity and eliminate elder abuse, neglect and exploitation through Awareness, Advocacy and Action. Based at the Center of Excellence on Elder Abuse and Neglect at the University of California, Irvine, Ageless Alliance is a grassroots campaign to give a voice to those who have been affected by elder abuse and abuse of adults with disabilities.
  10. Plan ahead to protect against financial exploitation. Download a handout on ways to protect yourself or a loved one. http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/Resources/Publication/docs/NCEA_ProtectYourself_web508.pdf
  11. Be aware of the possibility of abuse. Look around and take note of what may be happening with your older neighbors and acquaintances. Do they seem lately to be withdrawn, nervous, fearful, sad, or anxious, especially around certain people, when they have not seemed so in the past?
  12. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) office to identify local programs and sources of support, such as Meals on Wheels. These programs help elders to maintain health, well-being, and independence—a good defense against abuse. See the Eldercare Locator, www.eldercare.gov Welcome to the Eldercare Locator, a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging connecting you to services for older adults and their families.You can also reach us at 1-800-677-1116.